Nov 3, 2014

: why Lena Dunham's sexual abuse accusation matters

I found myself in tears while reading this article about Lena Dunham today. This isn't just child's play. It is a twisted, abusive form of sexuality, and a sober reminder that all of us have sinful tendencies that lead towards harmful behavior. In order to satisfy her own curiosity, Lena manipulated her sister with things like TV shows and candy. At its core, it is abusive because sexuality was never intended to be traded for things. It is a misuse of intimacy.

For whatever reason-- sin, her own story of abuse, her family of origin-- Lena believed (and still seems to believe) it was normal to use her sister's body to explore and satisfy her sexual curiosity. I cannot speak for her sister, but as someone who was abused in a very similar fashion when I was eleven (read my story here), I need to say that this story matters. Being abused in exchange for a Gameboy severely distorted my view of intimacy, sexuality, love, God and relationships. For months I believed I was only valuable to him as long as I did what he wanted. I equated my worth with a Gameboy that cost eighty dollars. This thought process bled into every area of my life. I believed that in order to be accepted by God and my friends and family, I needed to do things for them. To be myself was not enough. It was never enough.

I am not demonizing Lena, either. I understand that all of us are broken and have distorted views of sex and ways of dealing with it. Still, what she did was wrong. For it to be celebrated or normalized or laughed at undermines the seriousness of abuse and could cause people to believe they are making "too big a deal" out of childhood abuse instances.

For years I hid in the dark, believing what happened to me wasn't a "big deal" because he didn't technically rape me. But abuse, in any severity, is a big deal. It devalues human worth and distorts sexual intimacy. 

I am a living testament to the healing and transforming power of Christ in the midst of abuse. He has changed me and freed me from the chains of shame, guilt, and fear. If you've been abused, please know that it MATTERS, you are not alone and can tell someone about it.

This matters. It matters, it matters, it matters.


  1. Christ or not; people need to see someone when they get abused...however...subconscious. What Lena did was really cruel to her sister who has already accused Lena of trying to control her life. We should look to the parents...or again are abusers going to forgive these 'I got pregnant for xxx reason but really we're mother nature'? Tired of this.

  2. Jesus, repair the relationship between them both!